Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Recently, I asked my Facebook friends what I should write about.  One of them responded “Who is your hero and why?”  That is a tall order and right now, I’m going to try to deliver it!

Now to provide some background to this list, it’s important for you to know that I always cheer for the underdog.  I don’t really become star struck unless I’m faced with the Pope or a real member of the Von Trapp family.  Small accomplishments seem to me as big as climbing a mountain.  My heroes are everyday people.  I want to be just like them when I grow up!

1.  The bridge builders:

These are the people who have given their lives to building bridges through their relationships and actions versus causing division.  I have a tremendous amount of respect for these people because they absolutely love outside of themselves.  They meet people in their own realities and don’t try to impose, but simply love.  They care more about how you treat people than what your political affiliation is. They are more interested in finding the common ground because they know that love knows no boundaries.  This heroism is simple and admirable.  This is the kind of hero I want to be!

2.  The world travelers:

These are the people who have literally looked at this world and said “I must know you!”  As a woman, the deepest hurt I have experienced was from the rejection of not being known.  I want to be known.  Therefore, I consider the action of knowing someone or something to be incredibly loving! Have you ever gone into another culture, met people, and seen them be completely in awe of the fact that you want to know their culture, their lives,their ways?  World travelers see the world with truly open eyes.  They see, know, and understand beauty, love, grace, and relationship in every language, color and creed.  Every discovery of something new and every different perspective helps to flesh out the truth of humanity.  They bring that truth to wherever they travel and they become a hero to someone else…including me.

3.  The reckless lovers:

These people are the ones who give their hearts away with reckless abandon.  They know the risk.  They know they will get hurt, but they also know that it’s worth it to love.  They love every person they meet whether it’s their great grandmother or a woman they just passed by on the street.  I once observed one of my friends walk up to a woman at a festival just to tell her she was beautiful and looked gorgeous in her dress.  People who get married also fall under this category.  They enter a world of uncertainty.  In fact, the only certain things appear to be that they will know joy and they will know heartbreak.  It’s the elderly couple I see at the hospital where one is saying goodbye to the other…for the last time.  That, to me, is heroic.

4.  The silent sufferers:

These are the people who suffer in silence from the person who sits alone in their depressed state to the person who is enslaved to their addiction.  God’s grace is in every moment for these souls and in every moment there is the hope that they can rise above the adversity.  These are also the people whom adversity has been inflicted upon by the violence ofthis world.  They are the victims of murder, burglary, rape, the sex slave trade, and any other injustice.  They have given their best to seek out justice and continue living their lives putting one foot in front of the other.  Perhaps they went to fight for freedom and no one welcomed them home.  They are especially, my heroes.

5.  The Do-gooders:

These are the people who are always there to lend a helping hand.  They are the first to volunteer their time, money, or talent.  They are the last to go home.  They will cross miles of land or water to sleep on a dirt floor just to show up in someone's village to say "I love you".  They work tirelessly in agencies and institutions around the world to help people who are down and out.  They are often overlooked, overworked, and underpaid.  They are also under appreciated.  They are my heroes for doing the job that no one else wanted to do, for helping the people that no one else wanted to help.  Even though they might get trampled on by the ones they are helping, they do it because they know that it is right.  

Of course, Jesus is my ultimate hero.  He associated with all kinds of sinners.  He healed the sick and wounded.  He was known to cast out demons.  He is the divine counselor and I can’t think of any other time when a man loved me recklessly enough to willingly die on across for me and give me salvation.  He is my ultimate hero, followed by my dad, who is awesome.

The truth is we are all called to be heroes for those around us.  God has given us all the time, money, and talent to be a hero.  We simply need to rely on His grace to get us there.  So I would like to thank each and every one of you for being my hero and showing me how it's done!  I would like to challenge you to go out there and live your life as if you are someone else's hero!  This world desperately needs YOU!!!!

What you should know about women...

This is from my prayer this morning! Best holy hour ever!

"And God said, 'Let there be light.' It's radiance will help us to see what is unfolding." (Captivating)

Things that are kept in the dark remain in the dark, but things on which light is shed become visible. We can see their color, their form, their purpose, their value. And only here can we see if they keep us in chains or set us free. The truth is, even those things which remain in the dark, will have light shed on them sooner or later because Christ is light. I think of the image from the movie Anastasia when she breaks into the old palace to look for her dog and she sees that urn, an old urn covered in dust. Then she wipes the dust away to find that underneath is a painted urn with dancing bears in purple and blue and all of a sudden when she says, "It's like a memory from a dream" her dream literally comes down to illuminate her reality and she sees the entire ballroom full of beautiful things and people wearing beautiful gowns and she sees her family who she cannot remember at all.

Christ is creating something in me. He is creating a greater capacity to love. He is making something new! He is creating me into the woman I want to be, bold, courageous, and vulnerable. He is creating that woman who is unafraid, who can love perfectly without fear.

Michealangelo's Creation in the sistine chapel is significant to me. A woman must be so lost in the heart of God that a man must go there to find her. I am such a MYSTERY that I have changed so significantly over the years. No one knows me, no one knows my heart except God. God is constantly creating something new in me, therefore, a man can never stop pursuing a woman. He is constantly pursuing her, seeking her, rediscovering who she is because he knows that even in one minute God has already created something new in her that he (the man) has never seen before.

Every woman needs to be pursued by a man, no matter who that man is. Her father needs to pursue her, her brothers, her friends, her boyfriends, her husband. What good is the beauty and mystery of a woman if it is not being discovered by someone, if it is not being delighted in? Of course God always plays this role, but it's not just his role to play.

I understand now what it means as a woman to be a mystery. I used to think that discovering my mystery was something that only the man I will marry will do, until I realized that to love a woman means to discover her mystery, to constantly rediscover who she is at every moment because like a woman's physical body changes so often, so does her spirit, her heart, her soul. Every man in my life is called to pursue me as a woman and discover my mystery and it can happen in the simplest ways. My friends and the men in my family pursue me, it is not only for one man to do and thank God! Because I would feel incredibly unloved if only one man in this world showed his love for me!

On the flip side of all of this is the ugly part. If a man stops pursuing a woman, if he stops finding out about her, if he stops discovering her and getting to know her, it's as good as saying, "I don't love you." It basically means he is ignoring her mystery, which means, to him, it doesn't exist. He might as well say, "You are not mysterious, you are not beautiful and there is no reason why I should discover you at all." That is called rejection and it is every woman's worst nightmare.

So the questions that I leave you with are, How are you pursuing the women in your life? Do you really know them? Are you still getting to know them? When they leave your presence, do they walk away feeling like they have been pursued by you and that they are important to you? Or do they feel used?

As a woman, I have had many conversations with men, some I walked away from feeling pursued, uplifted, and literally thinking "I am so loved by that man!" Others, I have walked away feeling completely used and dishonored.

I sincerely hope that this little glimpse of femininity helps you to truly love the women in your lives!

Following Jesus...all the time

Originally written on July 21, 2013

Following Jesus…All the Time…

This is a difficult topic. I mean honestly, Houston traffic makes this virtually impossible to do.  But yes, we are called to follow Jesus…all the time.  This seriously puts me in a jam because I have a really bad habit of fussing at other drivers on the road.  There’s a popular cliché circling around right now, which basically says that you should say what’s in your heart because you don’t know if you’ll get another chance to say what you want to say.  I totally understand what they mean, but knowing myself, it’s usually better if I just keep my mouth shut.  We will definitely be held accountable for everything we say.

With that being said,there have been some interesting events in the news recently, which have sparked some pretty vitriolic reactions. These events have really divided the country.  I know quite a few people on both sides of the discussion so I have heard a lot of different viewpoints.  However, I have to say that I also saw some pretty inappropriate and strongly worded reactions from some people who I know to be following Jesus.

I get it that emotions are running high right now.  But that does not mean we can go run with them!  We have to harness them in, because Christ calls us to love through our adversity, to love our enemies, to love.  Period.  Condemning someone to the underworld is not a loving action, nor is it our role. Demeaning someone who disagrees with you is also not a loving action.  Yes we are called to educate the ignorant, but do you even know what that word means? According to Google, the word “ignorant” means “Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.”  Like I said before, I have a lot of friends on both sides of the argument.  Not a single one fits that definition.  They have their opinions as a result of the worldview, experiences, education, and awareness in their own lives.  Just like my opinions are the results of mine.

We often ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?”  Well, actually, if you have attended Sunday mass recently, you heard it.  In the gospel from Luke 9 it reads:

     “On the way they entered a Samaritan village to prepare for his reception there, but they would not
     welcome him because the destination of his journey was Jerusalem.  When the disciples, James and
     John, saw this, they asked, “Lord, do you want us to call down fire from heaven to consume them?
     Jesus turned and rebuked them, and they journeyed to another village.”

Wait, did that really just happen? Did the disciples really just ask the Lord, the Savior of the World if he WANTED them to call down fire from Heaven? Yes.  Yes, it did.  I wish I could have seen Jesus’ face when he turned around to rebuke them.  And just so you know, Google’s definition of “rebuke” is to “express sharp disapproval or criticism of someone because of their behavior or actions.  I guess James and John got a stern talking to.

The point is, we don’t need to call down fire from Heaven.  That has never been nor will ever be God’s will for us here on this earth. However, in the second reading, we heard what IS God’s will for us here on earth from Galatians 5:

     “But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve one another through love.
     For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

The truth is, condemning someone to hell is not a loving action and it is not for us to do.  There are a lot of people who don’t believe hell exists anyway so you aren’t going to scare them into believing.   Additionally, each person’s salvation is obviously very personal.  Who are we to judge anyone’s relationship status with the Lord?  Don’t forget about Matthew 7:1-5:

     “Judge not, that you be not judged.  For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the
     measure you give will be the measure you get.  Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s
     eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me
     take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye? You, hypocrite!  First, take the
     log out of your own, eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."

Sometimes I feel like we are just so scared that we aren’t witnessing enough to others about following Jesus. That’s when we make the assertion that these are my values and you can take it or leave it.  That’s not evangelism.  It’s pride. No one wants to hear your argument as to why you are right, but I’m willing to bet everything that they would pay good money to actually see you practicing what you preach!  I believe it was Ghandi who said, “I love your Christ, but I do not like your Christians.”

I am not at all saying that we cannot disagree with certain behaviors.  Most certainly we can and do.  But we must learn to love the person despite the way they act and despite what they believe.  After all, isn’t this how Jesus loves us?  Despite our continuous sin, He loves us unconditionally and is always there to offer His mercy and love to us.  It is also said in Hosea 6:6 “For I desire mercy not sacrifice.”   Our God is a loving, merciful and all-powerful God. If we truly believed that, then we must also believe that God, in his infinite power, can steal a wayward soul at the very last second.  There is no hopeless cause where God’s love and mercy are concerned.  Perhaps we would do better to pray that all of our brothers and sisters have hearts that are open to God’s love and mercy.  We would do well to pray for that grace for ourselves as well.

We must realize that we are also often in the wrong with regard to our own behavior.  So if we ever need to correct our brothers and sisters, we should do so lovingly and prudently, just like Matthew 18: 15 suggests:

     “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.  If he listens to
     you, you have gained your brother.”

Hopefully, he will listen to you.  However, if he does not, you are still called to love and forgive him.  Despite the sins he has committed against you.  It’s a tall order, I know, but we are called to love in every circumstance. 

The only way to convince others that we are for real when it comes to Jesus is to love.  The only way to effectively conquer any form of evil is to love.   Love. Love the person in front of you, love the random stranger, love your family, love the other drivers on the road, and love your enemies, love, love,and love.  Because honestly, when we get to Heaven, they won’t be checking our political party affiliation at the door.  Do not repay anger for anger or hate for hate.  Evil will devour itself, but we will win with love!

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To all of my ladies out there:

Originally written on June 28, 2013

Ladies,

It's that time of year...Summer!!!  We are taking time off of work, spending more time outdoors (if you don't live in Houston...) and laying out by the pool.  You know what that means...swimsuit season!!!!  I have seen many a facebook post out there discussing the need to work on a "swimsuit bod".  In light of this phenomenon, I would like to share an experience I have had recently with my own personal battle with swimsuit season.

In case you have not already picked up on this, I believe my body to be sacred and holy.  Yes, it is.  I am learning more about Theology of the Body, which is a series of talks given by Blessed Pope John Paul the Great early in his Papacy.  If you have never heard of it, I encourage you to look it up and check it out.  Christopher West has some great resources.  However, beware, it will completely change your life!

The other day I was speaking with a friend and she was telling me about a conversation she over heard from two of our male acquaintances, The basic gist of this conversation was that with regard to women, a guy can always find a woman who is hotter.  I was seriously put out by hearing this.  Basically, what I was able to deduce from the repetition of this conversation, was that for these particular dudes the number one criteria for them when it comes to women is that she have a hot body.  It really affected the way that I saw them and the way I saw myself.  

I was pretty angry and hurt, but why?  They weren't talking about me directly.  They were just having a generic conversation.  It reeks of the reality that when these guys see any woman, they look at her with the mentality that they can always go hotter.  And I have let them look at me numerous times.  Thankfully, I am a fairly modest dresser so they have had the privilege of seeing my beautiful face only.  Many women will spend countless hours and money trying to become a hotter version of themselves to get that kind of guy.  I am begging you.  Don't do it.  Remember, he believes he can always go hotter.  Always.  

Now, I am not saying don't work out, go eat whatever you want, and don't care about your appearance.  Please do care about your appearance.  Care about it a lot.  God gave you your body so use it for his glory.  Do NOT cover it up because you are ashamed.  Cover it up to protect it.  Protect it from people who want to strip you of your dignity, who want to reduce you to a mere toy for their own pleasure.  Above all, protect it from those people who simply don't deserve to see how good it actually is.  Not only that, cover it up to force that kind of guy to look you in the eyes, to see that you are a person, a human, a daughter of God, to give him a chance at discovering what true beauty is, how good of a person you are, and hopefully, how much God loves him.

Guys in our generation have adopted this mentality because we have allowed them to do so and we have not stepped in and protected our own dignity.  In this same way, we have seriously violated their dignity as men.  We have stunted their growth and done them a great disservice.  I KNOW that these guys in my life have the potential to be great men one day, please join me in helping them accomplish this goal by becoming the even more incredible women of God than you already are!

So what does this have to do with Swimsuit Season?  Pretty much everything.  Reflect on your intentions for getting into shape this summer.  Do it to be healthy, active, to build virtue in yourself, to persevere.  Don't do it to look good.  You are already beautiful and will become even more beautiful as you bask in the truth that you are loved by God and that is all you need!  Reflect on what you are wearing this summer as the temperatures rise.  Be comfortable, but remember to protect what God gave you no matter if you're at home, outside, or even at the pool.  Be modest in your attitudes also.  Do not be attention seeking, but seek to love and support others in friendship.  You are all a treasure to me in my life you can count on me to support you and love you through all of your struggles!

God Bless you and please pray for me as I pray for you!

Being Brave

Originally written on August 13, 2013

Where do I even start? First of all, I would like it to be known that I am reading a book called "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown and it’s totally kicking my butt. With that being said, if you know who she is or what she is about, you now understand my frustration. She is a social worker, researcher, and professor at U of H in the School of Social Work and today in three short chapters, she has ruined my life. Her life’s work is to study vulnerability and wholeheartedness. The book I’m reading is all about vulnerability and it may as well be called "Allie sucks greatly".


In reading this book, so far, I have come to realize that I am a big scaredy cat and I have a lot of growing up to do. It’s kinda a love/hate thing, actually, because I love the fact that I have this insight, but I hate the fact that I’m seeing myself fail all the time. As I was reading this book today, I was reflecting on the many ways I run from being vulnerable. I try to act like I’m fine, when I’m really hurt. I try to control my work environment. I keep my emotional distance from really sad situations. Sometimes I’m sure I come off as being super stoic. But most of all, I avoid relationships…of any kind. I will use sarcasm as a buffer between me and someone else. Forget about saying hi to me in an elevator, on the rail, or in the garage because I will just look at the floor, making it clear that you are uninvited into my heart, into my life, and into my soul. But the thing is, I don’t want to be this person. I want to be welcoming. I want everyone around me to know that they have a home in my heart; that I am safe and will always be there to care for them. Brene calls it “showing up”. 


So I have to share something that happened to me a few weeks ago. I’ll preface it by saying I HATE going out somewhere and running into people I know. I am never prepared for that situation and I have been known to not go places because I am afraid of that very scenario. However, there was one particular night when my friends convinced me to go to this very pretentious bar and I reluctantly agreed. At some point in the evening, I recognized a gentleman in the bar as a colleague from work. Being that this was exactly the situation I wanted to avoid at all costs, I told my friends I would have to leave and I told them why. Naturally, after I did this, one of my friends decided to wave the guy down. There I stood mortified when he waved back after recognizing me. 


Why this situation bothers me so much, I will never understand. I guess it’s because it forces me into a situation in which I have to reveal a different side of me to this person than I am accustomed to revealing. It’s a fear I need to get over. In reading Brene’s book, I have recognized that running away from this situation will not make it better and will not make it go away. In fact, I did leave about five minutes after this encounter. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Everything was totally appropriate. I just couldn’t take the pressure of facing a potentially awkward situation of talking to that guy and then seeing him at work on Monday. I left and consoled myself by thinking that I probably wouldn’t see him at all. Wrong. Not only do I see him, but I see him daily now because his assignment changed…for three months. And he has often tried to get my attention. If that’s not the gift that keeps on giving, then I don’t know what is. 


So for three weeks now, I’ve been avoiding the awkward situation. I look at the floor alot. I have been doing pretty much anything to avoid facing him. Today, after seeing him numerous times, I decided I had enough. I needed to stop running. So as I passed by his spot in the unit, he looked up at me, smiled, and said hi. I didn’t look at the floor. I just reciprocated very appropriately and went on my merry way. And I didn’t die. 


I have realized that being vulnerable is not about gaining something from the situation, but it’s about being who you are and affirming another person as a human being. For me, this behavior of avoidance is rooted in the idea that I don’t want myself to be seen. I want to be invisible because quite frankly, I don’t think I’m that big of a deal. I don’t think I’m that worth looking at. I don’t think I’m that worth knowing. I automatically assume that people would not care to have anything to do with me when the reality is that people are always looking for a connection and I have a lot to offer them in many different capacities. 


If I could just open up my heart and let people see me for who I am, I might even start to see myself differently. I might start living my life differently. I might realize that who I am can have an even greater impact on the people around the community, the world, and me. But most importantly, I might find that my presence does matter to these precious people and that their knowing me could bring about the change they are seeking in their own lives. When we are brave, we call others on to be brave and we show them that we are for real. When we run away from being vulnerable we miss out on knowing others for who they really are, but worst of all, we miss out on knowing ourselves and all the amazing things we are capable of. Be brave. It’s worth it.

Making my heart big enough for Jesus!

Originally written on June 24, 2013

When I graduated from college, so many of my friends were getting married.  I had a lot of wedding invitations being delivered to my house.  Obviously I could not go to all of them.  All but one were definitely a plane ride away.  However, there was one wedding that I was just not going to miss!  It was set to happen in Greeley, Colorado and my friends Katie Lockwood and Mark Hartfiel were going to pledge their lives to each other.  I was excited about this wedding.  I had been friends with Katie for about four years and watched her grow in her relationship with the Lord.  I had seen her conquer some hard stuff.  So I bought my plane ticket to Denver and waited excitedly for that big day to come.

However, the day before I was supposed to leave for Colorado, I became very anxious.  I was thinking over the past few months how all of my friends were getting married and I wasn't.  I started to think about how I didn't really know anyone who was going and I was probably going to end up by myself the whole night.  I got myself so worked up and freaked out that I literally made myself sick and was up all night.  I actually missed my flight out the next day and as a result...I missed the wedding.

Obviously, I regretted that my emotions carried me off in that way.  Obviously, I regret not being there on the most important day of her life.  And obviously, she will NEVER let me live it down...ever.  But I like that she can tease me about it and we can laugh.  But truthfully, it is no laughing matter.  Fear, that is.  Fear is the reason I missed that wedding.  

It's absolutely mindblowing how powerful fear is.  We see the things we are afraid of and just start running the other way.  That day when I let fear take over my life, I started running and I kept running for the next nine years.  That was the first wedding I missed because I was afraid to go alone, but it certainly wasn't the last.  

Finally, I realized that the madness had to stop.  One of my very dear friends, Stephanie and her new husband, Chris, got married this past weekend in Corpus Christi.  It was a beautiful ceremony.  I was very nervous leading up to it because I was going without really knowing anyone.  A few of my household sisters were going to be there, but I had only really met them once a long time ago and they were bridesmaids, so again, I was going to face going to this wedding and being alone the whole time.  Additionally, I was nervous about having to face the moment of the bouquet toss.  I was sure I would be the only single girl there and I was dreading it.  But something in me said, "Cowgirl Up!", so off I went to South Texas for the Wedding of the century.  Little did I know that it would change my life.

In his homily the priest emphasized some passages from Ephesians 5 where St. Paul writes, "Wives submit to your husbands." Now if there was ever a word which was NOT used to describe me, it would be the word 'submissive'.  Of course the men have a little chuckle after they hear that piece of scripture.  However, St. Paul goes on to say, "Husbands, love your wives...AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH."  And how did Christ love the church?  Yep.  He laid down his life for her.  That is what a husband is called to do for his wife.  

So I began thinking about this idea of submission.  Being that I am the least submissive person I know, it couldn't hurt to try to be more submissive in my daily life.  But who am I supposed to be submissive to?  God himself.  

I am a very sarcastic person.  Not by nature.  It's a learned behavior.  Lately it has been taking over my life.  What I didn't realize is that it takes over my emotional life also.  I become skeptical of everything, critical of everything, I make fun of everything, and I just flat out do not like the person I become.  So that has got to go.  I've decided to try to approach everyone and everything in my day with kindness and humility in my heart.  I tried this today and found that I even talk to people on elevators now, which is a BIG DEAL!!!!  The way I talk to my coworkers is different.  The way I see my work is different.  And most of all, the way I see myself is different.  Before, I was just as abusive to myself as I was to the people around me.  It was hard to take.  

My mission has been renewed.  I can be that shred of kindness that others see.  I can be the calm in the midst of their storms.  And I have no anxiety at all because Christ has already conquered the world!

I am truly glad that I went to the wedding of the century.  I have one more beautiful example to look up to in this couple, in addition to Katie and Mark.  I got some good words of wisdom from the priest during the homily.  As if that wasn't enough, God went one step further to show his love for me...the bride said NO to the bouquet toss!!!!!  I knew loved that girl!  Congratulations, Chris and Stephanie, you are truly a shining star!

So you're single? Love Anyway.

Originally written on June 26, 2013

I have discovered that the main reason why single people don't like being single is because we know we were created to love and we feel like we have no mission if we are not loving.  As usual, we are limiting the word "love" to agape love and eros love, depending on your perspective.  Conversely, the main reason why single people like being single is because they don't have to love.  Love is sacrifice, it's hard, and for those people, they choose to not be emotionally vulnerable because it's easier, but it will lead them down a path of misery just like the first scenario.  We must love being single because it helps us to love in a very different way and we must dislike being single because often enough it doesn't allow us to sacrifice enough for the good of another person.

Yesterday, I came across an article by the Sexy Celibate on things single people want married people to know.  Similarly, I read another blog post on the Focus blog about the mission of single people in the world.  Both were incredibly good articles and both hit very close to home.

The first article focused mainly on one liners married people use when talking to single people about their singledom.  Always well intentioned, people tend to try to reduce the action of meeting a soulmate down to a formula.  Do this and this and you'll get a match.  My personal favorite is when my married friend asks, "Well, are you dating anyone?"  My extended family learned back when I was a sophomore in college to just stop asking.  If I have news that's important for you to know, I will tell you.  But that inevitable question is usually followed by my inevitable answer, which is "No."  Depending on who I'm talking to and what kind of season I am in, I may elaborate more in the sense of asking for prayers for strength because I may be struggling with my singledom at that point.  Or I may just change the topic because it's not a big deal at that time or I don't trust the person that much.  If I continue the conversation, then I will receive another inevitable question, "Well are you doing this, or that, or this, or that?"  The embedded assumption is that I am not DOING enough to be able to change my single status and that I need to do more.  In other words, it's my own fault that I am single and has nothing to do with God's Divine Plan.

Well, as I was scrolling through facebook tonight, I noticed a meme from a popular christian page.  It was a picture of a beautiful bride with words transposed on it.  The words read: "A woman's heart should be so lost in the heart of God that a man has to go there in search of her."  I have seen this cliche and passed it along so many times!  Tonight I saw it for what it was, thanks to the sexy celibate.  Again, it is well intentioned and I know that it is meant to convey a message that you should seek God first and entrust your life to him.  But we, as humans, turn it into a formula.  It becomes more like this: "Okay, so I have to go get lost in God's heart.  Here we go!!!"  Picture a girl with her eyes squenched shut trying to mentally get lost in God's heart.  That's not quite what we were aiming for.  In addition, what are her intentions.  If I lose myself in God, a man will find me.  That's what it turns into.

So, I pondered this phrase a bit more and I began to wonder, "Where was the man's heart to begin with?  Was he just hanging out outside of God's heart?  He walked past it, looking at it, sizing it up, stroking his chin and thinking deeply, 'Aha!  I bet there is a woman in there!  I shall go find her!'"  So he goes into God's heart to find a woman.  Is that really what happens?  Call me crazy and old fashioned, but I don't think I want to be the reason a man seeks God's heart.  I want to encourage a man on his journey to seeking God's heart, but I want him to seek God's heart because he has the desire to do so, not to find me, but to find God and to discover God.

I decided to ponder this point a little further.  Is getting lost in God's heart my only responsibility?  No!  And the Focus Blog that I was reading, was about the mission of single people.  What if we let God get lost in our hearts?  What if we let him snuggle so deep in there and pervade every corner of space?  What would happen then?  Then, every person we meet, be it a potential suitor, a new friend, the bank teller, our clients, our family, a perfect stranger, would have the opportunity to discover God as they discover us.  How powerful is that?  God wants to make his home in us so that we can bring him to the world.  We just need to get out of the way.

Another thing the first article addressed is how single people cannot love another person in the way a married person can.  This is true.  A lot of times, as a single people I feel as if I have no purpose when it comes to love.  We were created to love.  Bottom line.  However, If you only see one aspect of love (romantic love) and don't see love for everything else that it is i.e.: friendship, charity to a perfect stranger, speaking truth in the midst of lies, suffering with someone, providing encouragement, etc, then of course you will feel you have no purpose and no mission.  You will be barren because you are not loving at all.

Yes, single people are missing out on romantic love and the kind of love that a husband and wife have, the "I'm willing to die for you" kind of love, but look at all of the different ways Christ calls us to love and be present to others.  Give encouragement to the person at the check out counter, pay for the person's coffee behind you in line, strike up a conversation with an elderly person, buy some food and take it to the homeless person on the corner.  We literally have the freedom to move around the world and evangelize in this way!  Single people, this is our mission and this is the New Evangelization!

I will leave you with this quote from our late Holy Father, Pope John Paul the Great, "Do not be afraid. Open wide the doors for Christ. To his saving power...Do not be afraid. Christ knows "what is in man". He alone knows it."

God Bless you and please pray for me!

Links for the blog posts:

http://thesexycelibate.com/2011/12/18/what-single-people-wish-married-people-knew/

http://www.focus.org/blog/posts/singles-dont-let.html

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