What do I do with my life?

Originally written on April 27, 2013

What a loaded question!  I know so many of us struggle with this one.  Last night I got into a discussion with two really solid guys about this very thing.  One friend mentioned that it is the duty of every Catholic person to discern their vocation.  True Story.  I totally agree with him.  In fact, you can distinguish the people who have really given God their hearts in vocational discernment by the peace they have in their lives.  They are living their lives with purpose.  I had mentioned in a previous note that a lot of single people today seem to be drifting from one event to the next.  They are living their lives in relation to the next party, the next service opportunity, the next career promotion, but they aren't asking God, "What do you want me to be?"  They are completely and totally adrift.

I don't sit here claiming to have all the answers or even claiming to have it all together, but what I do know is that the world needs you to discern what God is asking of you.  The reason being that whatever it is, God WILL ask you to change the world.  Maybe you will do that by being a priest or religious, maybe you will do that by being a husband, wife, or parent.  Maybe you will do that by being an honest businessman.  Whatever it is, the goal is to change the world, to make it a better place.  

Discernment requires some level of maturity, however.  You can't just say that you're discerning religious life and then go out and date a bunch of people casually just for fun.  There is a place for dating in the discernment of religious life, but I'm talking about people who do serial dating.  One after another.  Additionally, you can't discern marriage if you are simply keeping your options open all the time flirting with whoever is around like it's some kind of game.  Focus is key.  I once had a friend who told me, "You can't discern something if you're not living it."  How can you know that you like something if you've never tried it.  You have to live it!  If you are discerning being a Franciscan, go visit them and live like them!  If you are discerning marriage, then enter into a committed relationship to do so.  If you are discerning a new career, do your research, make connections, observe from the inside and do it!   There are too many people walking around not deciding to do anything and that is why our culture and specifically our generation is so inconsistent.  We can't make a decision to save our lives.

Why is it so hard for us to decide?  Perhaps it's fear, like always.  We've made decisions in the past.  Those have crashed and burned.  We find ourselves scarred from that experience.  Our fear of failure takes over and paralyzes us.  We are afraid of failure and ultimately, we are afraid of making the wrong decision and being miserable.  Well that's public enemy #1.  If you're basing your happiness on your vocation or your success in your career, you're setting yourself up for failure.  

Our happiness is found in God alone.  He alone can convince me that my life is worth it, that I have a purpose on this earth.  He fills my heart.  No vocation or career can do that.  Only Him.  When that core belief becomes your foundation, all fear subsides.  Because God is the only one whose opinion actually matters and as long as you are doing what He asked you to do, the result doesn't matter.  In the end, loving obedience is what makes you holy.

Discernment is not an action of deciding something independent of God's grace and His input.  It's about a relationship.  It's about who you want to be as a person.  It's about that desire being in line with God's 
dream for your life.  It's about finding out who you really are and the incredible gifts that God has given you to use for His glory.  It is His dream for you.  So go live the dream!